This is pretty much how the entire movie looks. Awesome.

I just got back from the much hyped (over hyped) Cloverfield monster movie. First, you probably want to know if this article will contain spoilers, right? No, no spoilers here, as there is nothing to spoil. That’s right, if you’ve seen any number of trailers or the first three minutes of this movie, you’ve seen about all the plot you’re going to see in the full length feature. No big news, but, there’s this giant monster terrorizing the city of New York, because that’s where monster hangout. The Statue of Liberty loses her head. Then there’s these people and they run from the monster. The end. Thanks for coming, I hope you enjoyed wasting ten dollars and two hours of your life.

Seriously. I’m being one hundred percent honest. That’s the movie. From start to finish the camera shakes only slightly less than riding down a rocky mountain on top of a washing machine strapped to a paint shaker. Slightly less. I highly recommend not eating before you see this movie. Then again, I highly recommend not going to see this movie in the first place.

Maybe if they would’ve put as much time into a story as they did the “mystery” of marketing Cloverfield it could’ve been good. Oh, and they never even tell us why the freakin’ movie is even called Cloverfield. Seriously! And the Star Trek trailer before the movie does NOT make up for the craptasticness of the movie. It’s more of a teaser than a full trailer.

Am I noticing a trend with J.J. Abrams? Like the fact that he can’t end a story maybe? He started Lost, it was great. Never ended it, and left before he could be blamed for never revealing anything. Before that he started Alias, also great. Then he left before that had a real ending. Now Cloverfield. Someone stop him before he ruins another good idea.

Fail!